Your Eyes
by GrnEydDvl
Summary: Hitsugaya Toushiro regrets what he did to her, but does he regret it as much as Karin? A hitsukarin one shot.


**I thought of this during class and since it was much more interesting than lung capacity, I thought more about this story than anything my teacher said. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. I only own my own characters and ideas.**

It had been a year. A year since he had last seen her. He had gone that long before, but this was the first time he was nervous, rather than ecstatic, about his return. Every other time he had come to see her over the past 15 years or so, he had always been excited, anxious in anticipation of seeing her bright eyes and hearing her precious voice. He had jumped at every opportunity he had, whether it was a minute, an hour, or a day, any time he could spare away from his squad and paperwork, to spend just a moment with her. Ever since he and Karin had declared their love for each other, right before he left to fight the Winter War against Aizen, all he had thought about was her sharp tongue, her delightful smile, and the softness in her eyes that she reserved only for him. One day, he knew, she would follow him to Soul Society. She had promised him that. But for now, she wanted to stay in the human world, and he respected that. He would wait. But he still stole every opportunity he could to come and see her, to remind her that he loved her, and remind himself that she loved him as well. But after what had happened on his last visit, he had been wary to return.

It had been Matsumoto who finally pushed him out of the office with orders not to return until he had been to the human world to visit Karin. Ordinarily, he would have given her a piece of his mind for ordering him around like that, but with her promise to complete all of his paperwork and the knowledge that she was right, he acquiesced. But that didn't mean he wasn't afraid of what he would find waiting for him. He registered it as slightly amusing that he, Hitsugaya Toushiro, captain of the 10th squad, was afraid of a mere human. But she wasn't just any human. She was Kurosaki Karin, the woman he loved, and she alone could strike fear into his icy heart.

He approached the apartment with apprehension. She had moved out of the Kurosaki clinic years ago, when she started college and moved away from Karakura town. She should be almost done with school, he realized as an afterthought. He sighed. It was going to take all the courage he could muster to knock on that door. But just as he was doubting himself, wondering if this was really a good idea after all, the door opened.

"What the hell do you want, Hitsugaya?" Karin asked bitterly, leaning on the doorpost, cigarette in hand. She looked different from the last time he had seen her. She had put on weight and she had bags under her eyes. Her clothes were winkled and, judging by the state of her hair, she hadn't bathed in several days. And he had never seen her smoke before. His heart broke to look at her.

"What happened to you Karin?" he asked painfully, the hurt showing in his eyes.

"I don't really see why that should concern you? And you didn't answer my question. What the hell are you doing here?" Her eyes bore into him, her cigarette dangling from her fingers, but he wouldn't let her intimidate him. He had to do what he had come here to do.

"I missed you," was all he could say. "I…I wanted to see you again."

"The hell you did," she said coolly, flicking ash off her cigarette. "Where the heck have you been for the past year?"

"I…" he paused, knowing it was going to sound like a bad excuse, knowing that she probably wouldn't believe him, even though it was the truth-or part of the truth anyway.

"I was in a coma," he said seriously, looking her straight in the eye. She snorted.

"You expect me to believe that?" she said derisively. "The great Hitsugaya Toushiro, the hero of the Winter War, was in a COMA! For a YEAR!" She took a drag on her cigarette. "You're going to have to do better than that."

"I'm not lying," he said flatly. "I've never lied to you before, and I don't plan to start now. I was in a coma, but the truth is, that was only for six months or so."

"Oh," she stared at him with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. "Then what were you doing the last six months?" He turned away from her, not wanting to look at her as he admitted what had kept him away so long.

"I was afraid of what you thought about me. Of what you would do to me. After last time…"

"Well, you were right to think that," she insisted, blowing smoke in his face. "You took advantage of me, then left me without a word, what did you expect?"

"Actually," he began, a sinister smile curling at the corner of his lip, "I thought you would already have killed me by now." She didn't respond to that. She looked away from him and smoked her cigarette while they stood in silence. Hitsugaya gazed at her. He couldn't explain all of his actions, but he could, at least, make her understand something of what happened that night.

"Karin," he said gently, breaking the silence. She didn't look at him. "The reason I left that night was because I sensed a vasto lorde somewhere nearby. I know that there is a shinigami on duty in this town, but he's new and could never have fought such a powerful hollow on his own. I intended to slip out, kill the vasto lorde, and be back before dawn, but that thing was too damn strong. I remember fighting him, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital room in 4th squad and they told me that I had been out for over six months." She turned to him. He thought he saw a brief flicker of understanding flash behind her harsh eyes, but it was gone so quickly he was sure he had imagined it.

"Ok," she said slowly. "Fine, so you left to fight some hollow and were in a coma. But what the hell were you doing the last six months? Avoiding me?"

"Yes." It broke him to admit that, but he really had nothing to hide from her, not now. Not after what he had done that night.

He had come to the human world to see her. It was her birthday and his visit was going to be a surprise. But apparently, her friends had other plans. They had thrown her a party. Someone had spiked the punch. Karin had never had so much as a drop of alcohol in her entire life, and had been completely wasted before she even realized what had happened. Hitsugaya had found her vomiting into a gutter while her "friends" either laughed at her, ignored her completely, or lay passed out on the sidewalk, too drunk themselves to take any control over the situation. He knew what to do immediately, he had babysat a drunken Matsumoto often enough. He had wrapped his arm around her back and supported her home. He held her hair back while she finished puking in the toilet and washed the vomit and sweat off her face. He made her a cup of strong, hot tea, and wrapped her in blanket to stave off the chills that had started to wrack her body. As the drink started to wear off, he thought she would simply fall asleep. He had no idea how wrong he had been.

The effect of the alcohol was indeed weakening, but not enough to put her to sleep. Instead, she had been aroused. More aroused than he had ever seen her. She thanked him profusely for helping her, first with her words, than with her lips, pressing herself against him with a passion she had never shown before. It had been she who had ripped his shirt off, she who had jumped on top of him, she who had forced her hungry kisses on him. And he had been powerless to protest. Every ounce of his being cried out that this was wrong, that she was drunk and would regret this in the morning, that he, being the sober, and therefore responsible one, should stop her, tell her to go to bed, that they could finish this later when she was in her right mind. But the more he had struggled, the more she had persevered, and eventually, he had given into the temptation. She had always been able to manipulate him in a way no one else could, and that night had been no exception.

He still berated himself for letting it happen. As he lay next to her that night, staring at her naked form, he hated himself more than he ever had before. He had betrayed her trust and let her do something he knew she would regret. He would apologize in the morning, he had decided, and pray to every kami he knew that she would forgive him.

But that had been before the vasto lorde had come and put him in his coma. The thought of her waking up, alone and abandoned, most likely not even remembering the events of the previous evening still haunted him. And so, he had been afraid to return and face her again. But now that he was here, he had to say the apology that he had avoided for so long.

"I'm sorry," he said with conviction, looking deeply into her eyes. "I'm sorry for what happened, and I…"

"Sorry!?" she screamed with rage, her nostrils flaring. "Sorry doesn't cut it Toushiro! You abandoned me! You have no idea what happened to me after that, my life has been a living hell! My father doesn't talk to me anymore, he's too ashamed. I had to drop out of school and my friends avoid me like I'm some kind of freak show. Do you know what you did to me?" Hitsugaya gaped at her. He was not expecting that. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as her words cut through him like knives.

"I…how…I mean, sure, what I did was horrible, but how could it have ruined your life like that?" He didn't try to hide the pain in his voice, but he really didn't understand how one night could have turned the world against her.

"Just like men," she spat bitterly, flicking her cigarette away. "You have all the fun and leave the women to deal with the consequences. You know, I wasn't even sure it was you that night. I almost didn't want it to be, hoping that you wouldn't have been such a bastard. But it had to be you. I knew it the minute I saw him. He has your eyes."

"He?" Hitsugaya's mouth fell open in a very uncharacteristic expression of shock as he tried to absorb what she just said.

"Yes Toushiro, he. Our son. You got me pregnant that night." Hitsugaya didn't know what to say. He finally understood the real consequences of his actions, why they had turned her life upside-down, what he had really done to her.

"Can I see him?" he croaked. This time it was Karin's turn to stare at him in wide eyed surprise. Whatever reaction she had been expecting, this was certainly not it.

"You mean it?" she managed to whisper. "You really aren't upset."

"Upset?" he asked, thoroughly confused. "Why would I be upset? I'm sorry I ruined your life, but what's past is past and I promise to take responsibility from now on. For you, and our son." It felt strange to say it that way…our son. But he meant everything he said. She considered him for a moment.

"Follow me," she said finally, extracting herself from her resting place on the doorpost and walking inside. He entered the apartment and his heart broke. Karin had always been a clean and neat person, but the place was a disaster. Clothes were thrown around haphazardly and the stack of empty pizza boxes showed him that she hadn't been eating very well. It was clear that she had given up on the rest of the world, just as they had given up on her when they found out that she was pregnant but had no husband to speak of. He would change that though. He was a man of his word. Years ago, he had promised to love her, to cherish her, to care for her, and now that she had nowhere else to turn, she was going to come with him. He had high status and regard in Soul Society, he could convince the other captains to let her stay, even being alive. He would bring her and their son with him, and he would marry her in Soul Society. If she couldn't have a husband here, she would have one there. From now on, it would be he who would live with the shame of having a child out of wedlock. That was a burden she no longer needed to carry.

Karin walked over to a small crib that sat in the corner. She leaned in and pulled out a loosely wrapped bundle. Hitsugaya reached forward tentatively and took the baby from her. He was tiny, with a round face and button nose, just like Karin. The baby squirmed at the movement and opened his eyes. Karin was right. Hitsugaya found himself staring into his own eyes. They were exactly the same shade of deep jade, but instead of the frosty, harsh look that Hitsugaya often had, this baby's eyes were gentle and innocent. And Hitsugaya, the ice price, felt his heart melt at the sight. He loved the child, his child, instantly.

"What's his name?" he asked softly, still gazing into the baby's startling eyes. Karin paused for a moment.

"Hyourinmaru," she replied gently. "I thought it was fitting. I hope you aren't mad."

"No," Hitsugaya lifted his gaze to look at Karin. Her expression had softened as she watched him hold the baby. "I think it's perfect." At that, Karin's face lit up into a grin, slowly at first, testing the waters, but she couldn't hold it back, and soon she was beaming at him.

"He's beautiful," Hitsugaya said, his own smile spreading across his face. She was smiling. Everything was going to be alright. He had a sudden urge to hold her, to caress her smooth face, to kiss her, but Hyourinmaru obstructed him. Karin however, seemed to read his desires in his eyes, and she approached him and gave him the most emotional kiss he had ever received. She stroked his face and he felt her tears rolling down her cheeks and onto his. Finally, she broke away.

"Give me a moment," she said before heading for the next room. He watched her walk away, then lay Hyourinmaru down gently. The baby whimpered briefly, then closed his eyes and fell asleep. Hitsugaya thought he had never seen anything more magnificent.

"Ahem." The sound alerted him to her return. He turned around to face her, and, for the second time that day, his mouth fell open. She wasn't wearing anything.

"Karin, what…" but she didn't let him finish. Before he could say another word, she had thrown herself on him and was pressing her lips against his so violently that he thought they might just be ripped from his face. She pulled back.

"Toushiro," she said gently, with a much softer expression than he had seen on her in a long time, "you didn't ruin my life. I love you. I wasn't angry for what you did, I was angry because I thought you might never come back for me, never see your son, never let me experience what you experienced that night. I don't really remember what happened, so if you could kindly remind me…" her voice trailed off, but he understood. This time, there would be no guilt, no regret. This time, there was only love, understanding, and a softly cooing baby.

**Sorry it was so weird, I don't usually picture the characters like that, but I thought it made for an interesting one-shot. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks.**


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